These last few months have been pretty hard, mentally tough. I think coming towards the end of my Degree really has messed with my head, it's the first time in my life where i have no idea where i will be next year or in a few months. From the day you are born until you leave education your path is in some way set out for you.
But now that's over and it hits you hard. Where do i go? What do i do? Where will i live? There are a lot of questions and for me it's been a tough time trying to find answers. Do i want a job? Do i need a job?
It's crazy, you are expected to leave University and start a Career to be ready for the real world. But recently i stopped and i though, no. No i don't need to have a 9-5 job, i don't need to follow societies set path. I have dreams, i have ambitions and i should follow those.
My parents have recently told me i should do what makes me happy and chase my goals. What is that?
To be a triathlete. To race. To train. To push my body to the limit and hopefully be the best possible athlete i can be. Yes it's only my second season, yes i'm yet to make my breakthrough but i think with time, consistency and a lot of work it can happen.
So as i finish my degree yes i still don't know where i will live or what i will do to fund general living costs. But i know for now that i will try and be a triathlete. Try and work my way up the ranks and perform as best as i can.
I want to do what will make me happy and what i feel i am capable of doing and achieving. It's going to be tough there is no doubt about that and at some point i will feel lost again and i still am.
But for now knowing i will chase this dream is enough. The season starts soon and i'm ready to give it everything i have.
My Coach Graeme recently posted this on his website. I have read it many times since and think it sums up how i feel just now:
“You have a right to experiment with your life. You will make mistakes. And they are right too. No, I think there was too rigid a pattern. You came out of an education and are supposed to know your vocation. Your vocation is fixed, and maybe ten years later you find you are not a teacher anymore or you’re not a painter anymore. It may happen. It has happened. I mean Gauguin decided at a certain point he wasn’t a banker anymore; he was a painter. And so he walked away from banking. I think we have a right to change course. But society is the one that keeps demanding that we fit in and not disturb things. They would like you to fit in right away so that things work now.” Anaïs Nin
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Friday 21 March 2014
Sunday 9 March 2014
Spring is here.
This post may be a bit early but after being sunburnt this weekend i am going to claim Spring is here!
Spring is a strange time for me, it's when i actually have to think about racing again. For the past few months it has just been solid training and testing but now I need to really think about the upcoming season, my goals, the races i want to do and where i will be.
I have entered 4 races so far, 3 being big ones and one a warm up event in Cornwall. I'll be posting a full race schedule soon here on my blog. The big races are GB age group qualifiers where i hope i can place well but also see how i do up against a more competitive field. I want to see where i stand within that and how i can place.
As well as the big races i will do smaller local races as much as possible, i need more race experience and just to practice things like open water swimming, transitions and pacing on the bike. I'm doing a mixture of sprint and Olympic distance this year not solely focusing on one distance. I really like that, that my events will be a little different and involve different strategies.
Training wise things are going well, i had a slight ankle injury which faded soon enough but apart from that physically i am in good shape. I've had a bit of a tough time mentally with a few situations and being my final year of University but I'm just trying to clear my head and focus on training hard and producing the numbers. The intensity is definitely increasing as are the hours but I'm building up a solid base and getting a bit quicker!
In about a month i will also be heading to Barcelona with coach Graeme and a few other guys for a training camp. This is something i was undecided about but definitely glad i eventually booked onto. I think a week of solid training, sunshine, focus and having my coach there will set me up perfectly for the season. I cant wait to get out there and just eat,sleep and train. It will also be good to train with stronger guys and really push myself.
I'm really excited that Spring is here, i can't wait to race again although i am naturally nervous as it has been a long time. I still have a lot of work to do before i get to the first start line of the season so i'll leave this here.
Thanks for reading and here are a couple of photos of recent training.
1. Dartmoor proved good that day.
2. Training partner Ian enjoying the Cornish sunshine
3. Scottish colours.
Spring is a strange time for me, it's when i actually have to think about racing again. For the past few months it has just been solid training and testing but now I need to really think about the upcoming season, my goals, the races i want to do and where i will be.
I have entered 4 races so far, 3 being big ones and one a warm up event in Cornwall. I'll be posting a full race schedule soon here on my blog. The big races are GB age group qualifiers where i hope i can place well but also see how i do up against a more competitive field. I want to see where i stand within that and how i can place.
As well as the big races i will do smaller local races as much as possible, i need more race experience and just to practice things like open water swimming, transitions and pacing on the bike. I'm doing a mixture of sprint and Olympic distance this year not solely focusing on one distance. I really like that, that my events will be a little different and involve different strategies.
Training wise things are going well, i had a slight ankle injury which faded soon enough but apart from that physically i am in good shape. I've had a bit of a tough time mentally with a few situations and being my final year of University but I'm just trying to clear my head and focus on training hard and producing the numbers. The intensity is definitely increasing as are the hours but I'm building up a solid base and getting a bit quicker!
In about a month i will also be heading to Barcelona with coach Graeme and a few other guys for a training camp. This is something i was undecided about but definitely glad i eventually booked onto. I think a week of solid training, sunshine, focus and having my coach there will set me up perfectly for the season. I cant wait to get out there and just eat,sleep and train. It will also be good to train with stronger guys and really push myself.
I'm really excited that Spring is here, i can't wait to race again although i am naturally nervous as it has been a long time. I still have a lot of work to do before i get to the first start line of the season so i'll leave this here.
Thanks for reading and here are a couple of photos of recent training.
1. Dartmoor proved good that day.
2. Training partner Ian enjoying the Cornish sunshine
3. Scottish colours.
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